I mentioned before that we're going through a "big questions" series at church, and today - thanks to 2 well-behaved children - I heard the whole thing. This is its own cause of celebratory activities. And I can now tell you exactly how big of a handful of raisins this feat requires. But I digress.
Today was "Is Jesus the only way?" which is a difficult question for some, even seminary grads (I'd argue that these folk are more inclined to feel troubled by giving a hard answer. Normal people get to answer the question without writing a 10 page exegesis on it). One particular thing the pastor said caught my attention and I've been a bit stuck on it for a few hours.
He mentioned that we (Christians) are oft hesitant to agree with Jesus' "I am the way... no one comes to the Father except through me" verbiage for fear of being exclusive. Thanks to a less-than-flattering history, the Christian heritage hasn't proven to be the all-aboard invitation we'd like for it to be. So by putting it to a Jesus-only discussion, those "exclusive" labels can again be employed.
I don't really feel the need to apologize for Jesus' own exclusive claims. I don't think there's anything wrong with exclusivity when it comes to deities. But thanks to our "your way, right away" culture, such exclamations are seen as elitist and unfair. (I can hear the cries of woe... "why does He get to be savior of the universe? I wasn't even given a chance! It's not fair the role was picked 2000 years before my existence!") When it doesn't fit into our handy framework of how we like our world to work, then let the finger-pointing again.
However. Oh, don't be shocked, you knew it was coming. However... though I believe strongly in Jesus' exclusive rights on the "way", I do think we have to be a bit careful when it comes to application. Jesus is the way (road, path), but our experience walking that road may look very different from someone else. I'm down with an exclusive Jesus; I'm not much for an exclusive experience of Jesus.
How God fits into my life, what it looks like to walk the path with him, the conversations involved, the concerns and cares along the way... all of these things are different for travelers. Some prefer to cut costs and stay at the Motel 6. Others glam it up for good cinnamon rolls at the Holiday Inn Express. A good friend of mine tends to pitch a tent in strangers' yards. Some travelers move at a snails' pace and in short spurts. Others treat it like a 100-yard dash. And who doesn't veer off the path to pick daisies once in a while? But none of this yields an invalid path.
I think the shudders to the "Jesus is the only way" conversation have a lot less to do with Jesus and more to do with the messenger. When we say "Jesus is the only way" perhaps the message is heard "my way of life is the only way" or "my way of worship/patterns of devotion/beliefs about social issues are the only way." And that's simply not true.
Perhaps we should follow the series with another series called "the questions behind the questions". It's not always about what's being asked, but what is implied in the answers.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
volume control
I don't come from a family of yellers. Loud talkers? Most definately. But not yellers. Actually I'd say we're more inclined to get real quiet and see if you notice that we're mad. But over the past several days, I'm starting to get the sense of what it's like to come from a volatile household where everyone walks on eggshells but yet there are still random bombs that go off.
Over the past week, Miss M has progressively given up more and more sleep. We went from a 1am waking that took some effort to nightly pre-bedtime screams with a few middle-of-the-night episodes as well. Yesterday she napped less than one hour in total. And it's not just a refusal to sleep, but a vocal refusal. You'd think someone just killed her cat (or was in the process of it) by the sounds of the immediate screams when you leave her cribside.
Now, before you go leaving the useful "have you tried..." comments, let me just make a quick list of our efforts: rocking, swaddle, sway, shoosh, hum, song, bounce, jiggle, jiggle while laying in the crib, tush-pat, "let her cry", sleep with us, sleep on us (neither of which involved sleeping), cry-wait 5 minutes-comfort-cry, humidifier, Tylenol, teething tablets, warm bottle, ginger root (husband found that one online), warm bath, lavender-scented oil in the bath & humidifier, get her up and try again later, blankets, binkie, no binkie. Every once in a while we had an anomaly and the girl would fall asleep, but we haven't found that "key" to success.
This has resulted in 2 very tired, anxious and frustrated parents. We're mad at each other because it's our turn again. We're upset with her because she we fine a week ago, sleeping 7-7 like a dream; we'd just put her in her crib and she'd saunter off to lala land. But apparently that visa has expired.
The frustration and anxiety evident in the house - and, who are we kidding? It followed me to work yesterday - no doubt compromises any successes we might see. I'm not sure if I'm laughing or crying. Probably both. And this, my friends, because "my baby won't sleep". When said aloud, it seems too trivial. I know a woman taking her little girl for clinical trials in an attempt to stop a devastating condition that has prevented the little girl from developing like a "normal" 4-year-old in terms of even walking and talking. I think she'd trade a week of sleep for her situation any day.
But then again, playing the "it could be worse" game only belittles our feelings and experiences. My reality is that when my kid doesn't sleep - and screams instead - I'm rattled. I get upset and scared and I cry to the point where my face is sore the next day. (Seriously. Did you know you can pull muscles crying?!).
I'm not sure if it's a parent's natural desire to want the best for their kid, or my own natural desire to want to resume normal, the patterns of life that I know and understand. But the cause, and the resulting effect, is not a household environment that I would promote to my friends.
So today, after a chiropractor appointment (the last thing I can think of to try to initiate change in this pattern), I'll be cleaning up my house, looking for a "grip" that I know I just need to get. And hopefully creating a loving, peaceful ambiance so that a certain 10-month-old decides to have a slumber party.
Over the past week, Miss M has progressively given up more and more sleep. We went from a 1am waking that took some effort to nightly pre-bedtime screams with a few middle-of-the-night episodes as well. Yesterday she napped less than one hour in total. And it's not just a refusal to sleep, but a vocal refusal. You'd think someone just killed her cat (or was in the process of it) by the sounds of the immediate screams when you leave her cribside.
Now, before you go leaving the useful "have you tried..." comments, let me just make a quick list of our efforts: rocking, swaddle, sway, shoosh, hum, song, bounce, jiggle, jiggle while laying in the crib, tush-pat, "let her cry", sleep with us, sleep on us (neither of which involved sleeping), cry-wait 5 minutes-comfort-cry, humidifier, Tylenol, teething tablets, warm bottle, ginger root (husband found that one online), warm bath, lavender-scented oil in the bath & humidifier, get her up and try again later, blankets, binkie, no binkie. Every once in a while we had an anomaly and the girl would fall asleep, but we haven't found that "key" to success.
This has resulted in 2 very tired, anxious and frustrated parents. We're mad at each other because it's our turn again. We're upset with her because she we fine a week ago, sleeping 7-7 like a dream; we'd just put her in her crib and she'd saunter off to lala land. But apparently that visa has expired.
The frustration and anxiety evident in the house - and, who are we kidding? It followed me to work yesterday - no doubt compromises any successes we might see. I'm not sure if I'm laughing or crying. Probably both. And this, my friends, because "my baby won't sleep". When said aloud, it seems too trivial. I know a woman taking her little girl for clinical trials in an attempt to stop a devastating condition that has prevented the little girl from developing like a "normal" 4-year-old in terms of even walking and talking. I think she'd trade a week of sleep for her situation any day.
But then again, playing the "it could be worse" game only belittles our feelings and experiences. My reality is that when my kid doesn't sleep - and screams instead - I'm rattled. I get upset and scared and I cry to the point where my face is sore the next day. (Seriously. Did you know you can pull muscles crying?!).
I'm not sure if it's a parent's natural desire to want the best for their kid, or my own natural desire to want to resume normal, the patterns of life that I know and understand. But the cause, and the resulting effect, is not a household environment that I would promote to my friends.
So today, after a chiropractor appointment (the last thing I can think of to try to initiate change in this pattern), I'll be cleaning up my house, looking for a "grip" that I know I just need to get. And hopefully creating a loving, peaceful ambiance so that a certain 10-month-old decides to have a slumber party.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
break downs and break throughs
What a day. Well, really, it wasn't much activity - church, brunch with friends, naps, a mother-son trip to the library, dinner and bed. It seems relatively uneventful, but it's in the mundane and the ritual that life seems to develop.
First, Miss M had a rough one. She wasn't thrilled with being left in the nursery, and I wasn't excited to leave the lone nursery volunteer with her, needing to be held, among other needy toddlers, so she came to class with us. All was fine and well until she found me hilarious but then fell over while laughing. Either the chair or the floor pushed her only 2 teeth into her upper lip. And there was blood. All three of us were marked. Sheesh. Later, all in good sport, H Boy shut the bathroom door and then tried to reopen it. Both actions took place with her fingers beneath the door. No blood, but marks. I nearly wanted to give her a bowl of ice cream to drown the pain. Am I a bad mom if I refrained simply because I wanted to eat the ice cream myself? (I'm only mostly joking here). The green beans seemed to suffice.
However, among the thrills and spills, we had a few breakthrough moments with H boy. First, we learned that he likes to do his pooping business in solitude. Even an audience of one hinders his performance. More than once he's ventured into the bathroom alone to complete the task (mostly without telling us first), so we felt confident after the 4th time of saying "potty" but not actually producing, to just send him in alone. In less than 3.2 seconds, there was poop. We can respect a guy that knows his needs.
Later, in conjunction with the door-shutting-and-reopening incident, we sat him down to "think about what happened" as is our custom. I see it as a minute to stop the situation and draw attention to the fact that unacceptable behavior just occurred. We typically ask him, "why are you sitting here?" only to get a programmed "uh huh" agreement, a vain effort of appeasing in order to be done with the sitting. However tonight I showed him Miss M's hand and said that it really hurt her when he shut the door. He replied, "sister hand... hurt." Then he took her hand and kissed it, just like he wants his mommy and daddy to do to make things better. For the first time ever, I felt like he had an idea that we weren't just upset with what he did, but he had hurt someone and needed to not do that something anymore. Of course, I fully expect a stomped finger or pulled hair in the next 24 hours, but it doesn't quell my excitement for progress. I'm okay with baby steps when they come from babies.
I capped off the evening with some non-fiction reading; at the recommendation of my sister I got Parents, Kids and Power Struggles from the library. Only recently has H boy been showing some signs of non-acquiescence (most commonly about putting on his coat or holding my hand in the parking lot) and I'd like to get a bit of a running start on the adverse behavior. I'd love to think that my kids, with my perfect genes, would just never disagree, but the realist in me says that at some point I will be That Mom dragging a screaming toddler out of Kroger while leaving a cart 3/4 filled with food. Ok, you're right - not just a screaming toddler, but 2 crying younger ones because they're not ready to leave yet. Minor details.
So in my recreational but yet educational reading, it was enlightening to learn how to deal effectively with emotions - both my kids' and my own. Nothing in it is new, but when applied to parenting situations, especially disagreements, it makes complete sense. Something causes my kid to refuse to listen; yes, he's 2, but he's feeling something that prompts him to react. So the book is about helping kids become aware of their feelings and finding appropriate ways of dealing with it. But it starts with me... how I deal with my emotions of frustration, anger and disappointment can translate into my kids' version of acceptable behavior. So, in all, it's great stuff to draw your attention to and think over for a time. I found myself asking husband "how do I react when...?" and "what are my triggers to...?" It's also eye-opening to think about it in terms of behaviors you've seen in others that you want to replicate or avoid.
So, if you're thinking that I'm in a bit of a reflective mood, you'd be guessing correctly that yes, my husband has tuned me out to zone in on some Angry Birds. Which is my alarm clock telling me it's time to hit the hay. We've got a big week ahead of us.
First, Miss M had a rough one. She wasn't thrilled with being left in the nursery, and I wasn't excited to leave the lone nursery volunteer with her, needing to be held, among other needy toddlers, so she came to class with us. All was fine and well until she found me hilarious but then fell over while laughing. Either the chair or the floor pushed her only 2 teeth into her upper lip. And there was blood. All three of us were marked. Sheesh. Later, all in good sport, H Boy shut the bathroom door and then tried to reopen it. Both actions took place with her fingers beneath the door. No blood, but marks. I nearly wanted to give her a bowl of ice cream to drown the pain. Am I a bad mom if I refrained simply because I wanted to eat the ice cream myself? (I'm only mostly joking here). The green beans seemed to suffice.
However, among the thrills and spills, we had a few breakthrough moments with H boy. First, we learned that he likes to do his pooping business in solitude. Even an audience of one hinders his performance. More than once he's ventured into the bathroom alone to complete the task (mostly without telling us first), so we felt confident after the 4th time of saying "potty" but not actually producing, to just send him in alone. In less than 3.2 seconds, there was poop. We can respect a guy that knows his needs.
Later, in conjunction with the door-shutting-and-reopening incident, we sat him down to "think about what happened" as is our custom. I see it as a minute to stop the situation and draw attention to the fact that unacceptable behavior just occurred. We typically ask him, "why are you sitting here?" only to get a programmed "uh huh" agreement, a vain effort of appeasing in order to be done with the sitting. However tonight I showed him Miss M's hand and said that it really hurt her when he shut the door. He replied, "sister hand... hurt." Then he took her hand and kissed it, just like he wants his mommy and daddy to do to make things better. For the first time ever, I felt like he had an idea that we weren't just upset with what he did, but he had hurt someone and needed to not do that something anymore. Of course, I fully expect a stomped finger or pulled hair in the next 24 hours, but it doesn't quell my excitement for progress. I'm okay with baby steps when they come from babies.
I capped off the evening with some non-fiction reading; at the recommendation of my sister I got Parents, Kids and Power Struggles from the library. Only recently has H boy been showing some signs of non-acquiescence (most commonly about putting on his coat or holding my hand in the parking lot) and I'd like to get a bit of a running start on the adverse behavior. I'd love to think that my kids, with my perfect genes, would just never disagree, but the realist in me says that at some point I will be That Mom dragging a screaming toddler out of Kroger while leaving a cart 3/4 filled with food. Ok, you're right - not just a screaming toddler, but 2 crying younger ones because they're not ready to leave yet. Minor details.
So in my recreational but yet educational reading, it was enlightening to learn how to deal effectively with emotions - both my kids' and my own. Nothing in it is new, but when applied to parenting situations, especially disagreements, it makes complete sense. Something causes my kid to refuse to listen; yes, he's 2, but he's feeling something that prompts him to react. So the book is about helping kids become aware of their feelings and finding appropriate ways of dealing with it. But it starts with me... how I deal with my emotions of frustration, anger and disappointment can translate into my kids' version of acceptable behavior. So, in all, it's great stuff to draw your attention to and think over for a time. I found myself asking husband "how do I react when...?" and "what are my triggers to...?" It's also eye-opening to think about it in terms of behaviors you've seen in others that you want to replicate or avoid.
So, if you're thinking that I'm in a bit of a reflective mood, you'd be guessing correctly that yes, my husband has tuned me out to zone in on some Angry Birds. Which is my alarm clock telling me it's time to hit the hay. We've got a big week ahead of us.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
since you've been goooone
I just had the conversation that I'd like to limit H's TV watching a bit more, I fear we may be creating some unappreciated habits. But for the moment, I just need a minute to sit and zone out. So, hot dog - hot dog, hot diggety dog we go.
To say that our lives have been nothing short of chaotic lately might be the understatement of the year. Husband has been faced with some "professional decisions" (prayers welcome), we purchased a rental house and have had numerous incidents of making visits or having family visitors. I must clarify, most of this chaos is the positive kind - the stuff that improves life and makes it worth living. But navigating chaos while keeping your sanity is a learned trait.
Just now my sister and her crew of 3 munchkins just left after an overnight visit. 5 kids (2 of them babies) vs. 2 moms requires some energy, even when the kids all get along and enjoy one another. Getting them through evening rituals of dinner, bath and bed - even when they enjoy all 3 aspects - can be a chore. It's even more waring when you know you have a skillet cookie and knitting lessons awaiting. And your husband is nothing short of exhausted.
However, and I say it every time, it's welcomed chaos. In the moments following the pandemonium - when the fam leaves and my kids have had such a good time they're ready for a nap 30 minutes earlier - I know it's worth it. To have family that makes a priority of creating memories, to have a lifestyle that is accommodating to mid-week visits, to have family that you enjoy spending time with - these are rich, rich blessings. I could want "normal" - when my kids stay home and play, I get a bit of work done on the computer, the house is organized and chores aren't waiting. But that's boring. And at the end of it all, what do I have to appreciate? Will I reflect on my life and be joyful over the moments of timely folded laundry? So, I may drag a bit today. The kids may be slightly out of sorts from reduced sleep and being out of routine. But give 'em a day or two. They'll recover. And when they grow up, they won't think back to their patterned days of nap time - I'm hoping they remember the times of sleepovers and adventures.
To say that our lives have been nothing short of chaotic lately might be the understatement of the year. Husband has been faced with some "professional decisions" (prayers welcome), we purchased a rental house and have had numerous incidents of making visits or having family visitors. I must clarify, most of this chaos is the positive kind - the stuff that improves life and makes it worth living. But navigating chaos while keeping your sanity is a learned trait.
Just now my sister and her crew of 3 munchkins just left after an overnight visit. 5 kids (2 of them babies) vs. 2 moms requires some energy, even when the kids all get along and enjoy one another. Getting them through evening rituals of dinner, bath and bed - even when they enjoy all 3 aspects - can be a chore. It's even more waring when you know you have a skillet cookie and knitting lessons awaiting. And your husband is nothing short of exhausted.
However, and I say it every time, it's welcomed chaos. In the moments following the pandemonium - when the fam leaves and my kids have had such a good time they're ready for a nap 30 minutes earlier - I know it's worth it. To have family that makes a priority of creating memories, to have a lifestyle that is accommodating to mid-week visits, to have family that you enjoy spending time with - these are rich, rich blessings. I could want "normal" - when my kids stay home and play, I get a bit of work done on the computer, the house is organized and chores aren't waiting. But that's boring. And at the end of it all, what do I have to appreciate? Will I reflect on my life and be joyful over the moments of timely folded laundry? So, I may drag a bit today. The kids may be slightly out of sorts from reduced sleep and being out of routine. But give 'em a day or two. They'll recover. And when they grow up, they won't think back to their patterned days of nap time - I'm hoping they remember the times of sleepovers and adventures.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
slightly proud, slightly disappointed
Per the recommendation of my sister, I checked into Amazon's subscribe and save to try to save on diapers and regularly purchased household items. We signed up for some pampers, but as I priced out the toiletpaper and dog food, it just didn't match up to our local Kroger prices. Boo hiss, because we're regularly running to the store at 9pm for dog food. But I'm talking about a significant price diff, so it's just not worth it - not even with the extra 15% for the S'nS and another 15% as an "Amazon Mom" - I totally signed up for the free Prime shipping on all purchases for 3 months, with additional months by buying at least $25 in baby products each month. Easily attainable by diapers, I do believe. Amazon wins again.
So in my dry goods price comparison, I pulled up the weekly add for Kroger to confirm my hunch; on the recommendation from another friend, I put in my shopper card info and can download weekly coupons before I go to the store. No more dropping them or keeping them out of children's reach! Or forgetting you have them all together! This, my friends, is a selling feature.
But with great privilege comes... disappointment. I went through all of the Kroger coupon options - and they're all pretty good, I must say, but all for products I don't normally buy. This might be a sign that perhaps I take my home-making to an obscene limit. There was a good deal on Tide, but I'm making my own detergent nowadays for much cheaper than what I would pay even with 5 coupons. Of course, they didn't have a coupon for the brand of soap I use to make it. Hmph. We also buy very little in the way of crackers, cereal or chips (though it's not habit for me to ban all foods that begin with "C"), all of which are the top coupon downloads.
You know what I couldn't find a coupon for? Bananas and broccoli. Flour. Paprika. Blocks of cheese. These are the things that fill my cart, but apparently no one wants to offer secondary financial reward to being cheap.
So, I like the idea of loading up my coupons to go, and I believe I'll continue to do so (if I remember). But My hopes have been dashed that I might ever reach the "150 coupon" downloaded coupon limit.
So in my dry goods price comparison, I pulled up the weekly add for Kroger to confirm my hunch; on the recommendation from another friend, I put in my shopper card info and can download weekly coupons before I go to the store. No more dropping them or keeping them out of children's reach! Or forgetting you have them all together! This, my friends, is a selling feature.
But with great privilege comes... disappointment. I went through all of the Kroger coupon options - and they're all pretty good, I must say, but all for products I don't normally buy. This might be a sign that perhaps I take my home-making to an obscene limit. There was a good deal on Tide, but I'm making my own detergent nowadays for much cheaper than what I would pay even with 5 coupons. Of course, they didn't have a coupon for the brand of soap I use to make it. Hmph. We also buy very little in the way of crackers, cereal or chips (though it's not habit for me to ban all foods that begin with "C"), all of which are the top coupon downloads.
You know what I couldn't find a coupon for? Bananas and broccoli. Flour. Paprika. Blocks of cheese. These are the things that fill my cart, but apparently no one wants to offer secondary financial reward to being cheap.
So, I like the idea of loading up my coupons to go, and I believe I'll continue to do so (if I remember). But My hopes have been dashed that I might ever reach the "150 coupon" downloaded coupon limit.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
learn. do. teach.
I walked into the bathroom to find H sharing a moment with Lion this morning:
Apparently, Lion had to go potty.
(Can you tell how we entertain him while we wait for the magical moment?)
"Lion, all done! Good job!" he said.
And then it was time for Lion to refill.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Snap, krackle, pop
Tomorrow I will embark on a new culinary journey: the rice krispy treat. I know, I know, it should be a staple in every mother's toolbox, but it wasn't a childhood favorite in our house so I never really attempted to hone the skill. I did make an effort at a Christmas tree krispy treat, but failed within the first 2 steps. That's right, somewhere in between melting butter and melting marshmallows. I attributed the failure to the fact that my intentions were to send the treat to school with the husband and well, those kids didn't deserve a treat anyway.
But when I called my cousin to find out what I could contribute as they will be spending the weekend amid the mourning activities of calling hours, family & friend time and the funeral, her immediate response was "LBW will be thrilled with a rice krispy treat." I tried to explain away my previous failures and offer up opportunity to pick her own favorite, to which she replied "I would be thrilled with a rice krispy treat." Oh, the pressure.
So I ventered to the downtown GreatScot for both a box of generic rice krispies and a bag of Jet Puffs. I've been gathering tips for success on the "world's easiest cookie." I've heard:
Don't overcook the marshmallows. (How do you know when THAT happens?)
Use fresh krispies. I hope this doesn't disqualify the generic.
Cut immediately.
Use plenty of butter.
So tomorrow we'll give it the ol' college alumni try. I really wish that I could convince the girls that they'd prefer a cake or brownie, but they know what they like. And I feel that the best - and the most - I can do at this time is learn to melt a 'mallow. I may not have the words to express my condolences or the means to show my support, but by golly I can figure out a way to make these 3 ingredients come together for a pleasant taste sensation.
I suppose nothing says "I'm so sorry about your loss" like a baked good.
But when I called my cousin to find out what I could contribute as they will be spending the weekend amid the mourning activities of calling hours, family & friend time and the funeral, her immediate response was "LBW will be thrilled with a rice krispy treat." I tried to explain away my previous failures and offer up opportunity to pick her own favorite, to which she replied "I would be thrilled with a rice krispy treat." Oh, the pressure.
So I ventered to the downtown GreatScot for both a box of generic rice krispies and a bag of Jet Puffs. I've been gathering tips for success on the "world's easiest cookie." I've heard:
Don't overcook the marshmallows. (How do you know when THAT happens?)
Use fresh krispies. I hope this doesn't disqualify the generic.
Cut immediately.
Use plenty of butter.
So tomorrow we'll give it the ol' college alumni try. I really wish that I could convince the girls that they'd prefer a cake or brownie, but they know what they like. And I feel that the best - and the most - I can do at this time is learn to melt a 'mallow. I may not have the words to express my condolences or the means to show my support, but by golly I can figure out a way to make these 3 ingredients come together for a pleasant taste sensation.
I suppose nothing says "I'm so sorry about your loss" like a baked good.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
standing up
I'm finally home for the afternoon and remaining in an upright, less-pressure-on-the-sinuses position while I watch The Talk (a copycat of The View). They just did a segment on teen violence and apparently there was a YouTube video that went viral of kids beating up another student. I didn't hear the entire discussion, but it ended on a note of reflection concerning the "other kids" - as in "where are the other kids who should be stopping this?"
One of the hosts started talking about how she does all kinds of things as a mom to try to teach her daughter to do the right things - eat good foods, pick up after playing, share her toys, listen to her parents and teachers, etc. But what she really wants is to raise her daughter in a way that when these things happen, she'll have the understanding to know it's wrong and the confidence to do something about it.
It made me really reflect about what it is that I value and what values I teach and model to my children. Yes, I want them to become all the things the host mentioned - a good listener, picks up, blah blah blah. But those things don't change lives of other people. How do you teach compassion? How do you instill courage?
It reminded me of a recent blog post by Marko (formerly of YS) . Here's what one professional/academic wrote:
Teenagers know, better than we do, that when we ask them to be Christians, we are asking them to do a very dangerous thing. The only way out is to adopt a “safe” version of Christianity (which might not be Christian at all) that helps them become good, nice people instead of people who love others sacrificially. But as we know, good and nice “Christianity” seldom lasts past high school, since teenagers quickly learn that people can be perfectly good and nice without Jesus anywhere in the picture.
So I think in the future, youth ministry will try to re-weird-ify Christianity, highlighting Jesus’ radical actions and peculiar self-giving love, in an effort to resist the American church’s habit of trying to tame the gospel into a middle class bedtime story. If Christianity is dangerous, then we need to act like it. Teenagers aren’t afraid of risk, but they want to know that Jesus is worth it. Young people are going to demand that we, the church, be who we say we are–people who obviously follow Jesus, which makes us “weird” in a culture based on self-actualization and self-fulfillment–or they’re just not going to bother with us at all.
Just some new perspective and new questions to ask myself about what it means to be a parent.
One of the hosts started talking about how she does all kinds of things as a mom to try to teach her daughter to do the right things - eat good foods, pick up after playing, share her toys, listen to her parents and teachers, etc. But what she really wants is to raise her daughter in a way that when these things happen, she'll have the understanding to know it's wrong and the confidence to do something about it.
It made me really reflect about what it is that I value and what values I teach and model to my children. Yes, I want them to become all the things the host mentioned - a good listener, picks up, blah blah blah. But those things don't change lives of other people. How do you teach compassion? How do you instill courage?
It reminded me of a recent blog post by Marko (formerly of YS) . Here's what one professional/academic wrote:
Teenagers know, better than we do, that when we ask them to be Christians, we are asking them to do a very dangerous thing. The only way out is to adopt a “safe” version of Christianity (which might not be Christian at all) that helps them become good, nice people instead of people who love others sacrificially. But as we know, good and nice “Christianity” seldom lasts past high school, since teenagers quickly learn that people can be perfectly good and nice without Jesus anywhere in the picture.
So I think in the future, youth ministry will try to re-weird-ify Christianity, highlighting Jesus’ radical actions and peculiar self-giving love, in an effort to resist the American church’s habit of trying to tame the gospel into a middle class bedtime story. If Christianity is dangerous, then we need to act like it. Teenagers aren’t afraid of risk, but they want to know that Jesus is worth it. Young people are going to demand that we, the church, be who we say we are–people who obviously follow Jesus, which makes us “weird” in a culture based on self-actualization and self-fulfillment–or they’re just not going to bother with us at all.
Just some new perspective and new questions to ask myself about what it means to be a parent.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
well, I got myself into a pickle
In the next month the church is going to be exploring "tough questions about Jesus". Pastor Greg is going to cover things like "Was Jesus God or just a good man" and "Were Jesus' miracles just an illusion." In a flash of brilliance, I decided to open it up to our Sunday School group to compose our own list of questions to cover over the next chunk of time. Honestly, the Why Jesus questions aren't where I spend my time or conversation (not that they're not worth covering), so we went with a less existential angle. I'd like to share what I'll be researching so that I can ask the group a series of questions about questions. These are seriously what are on my list:
I'll trade Pastor Greg Jesus' Miracles for Alien Salvation any day.
- The chronological order of the universe: Where were the dinosaurs?
- Why did God "talk" to people before now, but not me? Where is the bush on fire now?
- Alien salvation. Yes, someone wants to know "is there intelligent life forms on other planets and can they be saved?"
- Why suffering?
- What rules still apply? Homosexuality, eating bacon... how do we know?
- What did they eat on the ark?
- Why can't Matt have multiple wives?
- Was America founded on Christianity?
- What happens to those people before Jesus?
- How did Adam & Eve's children procreate? ("Sometimes when a brother and a sister love each other very much.... err...." yeah, I've got no leads on this one.)
- OT vs. NT: why are they so different?
- Ned just added this one: free will to choose and being predetermined. (Yes, he knows how to keep it light.)
- Then I added: Why go to church?
- If we're supposed to listen to Christian music, then why did God give Eminem and Beyonce the knack for such catchy beats?
I'll trade Pastor Greg Jesus' Miracles for Alien Salvation any day.
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